I’m feeling ‘stuck’ in my life and can’t find a way to get moving. How can coaching help me?What we are really talking about here is intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation does not depend on external factors to keep us moving. We keep moving in life because the direction we are moving in (and the experiences we are having) are meaningful and often new to us. They feed our life and give us energy.
We become stuck when we have attached ourselves to people, circumstances, material possessions, or even ideas in such a way that we ignore the right timing and direction of our own natural movement. We are stuck when we have done this long enough for us to reach the point of complacency - or learned helplessness - and begin to rationalize or justify our choice to stay stuck.
At this point we may perceive that we can’t (or sometimes don’t want to) choose differently, as it has been so long since we have felt the intrinsic rewards of autonomous movement.
In a word - we “settle” because we no longer know the difference.
The resulting lack of motivation is really just a level of energy that is much lower than it could be.
As small children, we are experts on intrinsic motivation because we are so focused on what brings us pleasure. This is why children have so much energy!
By the time we have become adults, many of us have lost this sense of wonder and natural ability to seek out what feeds us. Instead, we seek to avoid pain.
Given a choice, most adults will choose the least painful option, whereas very young children will go directly to the choice that pleases them.
When was the last time you did something that created that same childlike “rush” throughout your body? This truly is the key that will keep us moving.
Of course, we can see how difficult it may be to make changes on our own if we are feeling unmotivated. Inside our box of fears and perceptions, we might change our mind about being stuck, while our body continues to react autonomically in ways that seem to work against us. Some of us may feel “power-less to create change”.
Sometimes “fresh eyes”, a different perspective, or having the guidance and support of a Personal Coach can make all the difference!
